Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
