ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
