So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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