Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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