dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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