You're a womanizer and a bitch.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
