Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
