At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
