Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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