just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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