You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
