so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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