nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
