I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
