STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
