I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
