Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
