do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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