Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need to calm my uterus...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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