Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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