ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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