Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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