Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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