apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
