But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
