he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
