I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
