we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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