i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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