Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
