Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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