Define "chronic" masturbator.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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