It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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