You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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