i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
