don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
