Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
