Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
