is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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