what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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