I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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