We won't sleep together?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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