I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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