is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
