i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
