Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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