Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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