The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
