And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up under a house in Key West
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
