You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
