alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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