I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
