He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
