No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
