I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
