Got a toothbrush?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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