North Korea, Best Korea!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
