wat bout pragnant strippers??
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
