I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
