Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
