Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
this boner is exhausting
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
