My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize